Jury Duty

Assembled in six lines of six people each
we waited outside the courtroom.
All rise! the bailiff bellowed
and we filed in single file.

Identity theft!
This was a case of identity theft
involving bank fraud
conspiracy
and two black women.
Fury arose within me
remembering Ron
and the 22 charge accounts his caregiver opened in his name.

I looked at those two women
and a part of me turned to steel.
I was freshly outraged on Ron's behalf.

I realized I was too emotional to serve on this jury panel.
I finally told the judge.
It was no surprise when they passed over me
and the three white men who sat with me.

I don't consider myself a racist.
I voted for Obama.
But something about those two black women
triggered racism within me
and I was out for blood.

I'm not sure what to do with this
or where to go with it.
I can only lift my woundedness to God
and pray for God's healing mercy.

Metro Rail Ride

She was headed to Sears, she told me,
This blonde haired woman with thick black eye liner lining her mouth.
She had highlighted her eyes and eyebrows with it too
and filled in her lips with a pale color of pink rimmed with lime green.
I tried not to stare at her bizarre mouth as we talked.
She was bundled in a long sleeved sweat suit jacket zipped tightly around her neck,
and that was topped with another jacket.
She wore white suede boots with fluffy, fake fur tops over her tight jeans
and her breath smelled of alcohol.
Sears was having an 85% sale on their summer things she told me,
an event not to be missed.
I wondered what she would do with them since she was snuggly wrapped for winter
and it was 93 degrees outside.

It was my first ever Metro rail ride in Houston.
I was proud of myself for figuring out how to do it.
The crowd I traveled with this afternoon was surely different from my own tribe.
"You've become enmeshed again, Pat" I told myself.
"You think all people are like the ones at St. Stephen.
Open your eyes. Branch out a little."

My New Collage

A lovely, innocent teenaged girl looks up
full of wonder,
dreaming of possibilities,
and a brand new world opening before her
as she trusts the path to unfold.
Her grandmother above looks at her and smiles at the way she is growing.
To the side, an assertive powerful woman stands tall, ready to protect her.
Danielle Steel is vigilant at her feet,
poised to confront anyone who would try to destroy what God is doing.
The whimsical cat wonders if she can play today.

Drought

Parched
Not enough
Scarcity
The sky is falling!
Panic!

May the living water flow into every crack and crevice
bringing life
abundance
hope
and the living presence of Christ.

The Accuser

It comes so easily,
Inferior!
Not as good as
Trite!
Boring!
The voice hammers on.
Who are you to think you're a writer?
Get off your ass and do something meaningful for a change!
You're washed up
a has been.
No one cares what you write about
not even God.
Give it up.
It's a waste of time.


The Answer with the Non-dominant Hand

It's what I love.
It's what I am called to do.
It's what brings me life.
I don't really care what you think about it.
Leave me alone.

Mary

She teared up when she saw me.
She couldn't talk.
She could only writhe in pain.
How did this happen
to this woman my age?
We walked together in the park and laughed
as we spoke of family, church and God.
Now she lies silent
except for the grimaces of pain that cross her face.

I could only watch quietly
and love her through my tears.
I am powerless to help her
or to do anything to alleviate her aching heart and body.

I pray for Mary
for the peace of Christ to fill her
for God's healing mercies and tenderness to enfold her
for courage and strength to make it through the final part of her journey.

I shall never understand why we have to suffer so.
But Jesus suffered
and out of that terror
came life for all the rest of us.

I don't know how God will use Mary's torment.
We can only offer it to God,
sense God's tears merging with our own,
and know that we are all held together in God's loving kindness
as we anticipate the time of freedom.

Our 44th Wedding Anniversary

We've weathered so many storms together
war
miscarriage
job loss and financial strees
the decline and death of his parents
cancer, kidney stones and heart stints.

But there have been such incredible joys for me -
the feeling of safety whenever he is around
two fabulous children
and three bright and beautiful grandchildren
stability
a shared faith
wonderful trips
a house, a farm and a condo
everything we ever wanted really
God's rich blessing on our life together
his ability to fix anything
and to care so deeply for me.

He pushed me to seminary
drives me to church
listens to my sermons again and again,
often tearing up and always praising them.

He is there for me whenever and however I need him
holding me in his strong arms
blessing me
solving my logistical problems
doing the laundry, the dishes and the food preparation
and staying positive through all of it.

I never met another man I thought I could live with.
I am the center of his life, and I always have been.
He listens to me
and encourages me
and this has been going on for 44 years today.

I love him so.
I always will.
He is my one great true love.

I know our remaining years are numbered.
We've both slowed down.
Little things nip at our heels
fatigue for me
insomnia for him
aches and pains
our great love of food and its devastating effects in our lives

How long do we have together?
10 years?
20?
I pray that we make it to 50.
I pray God remains at the center of our lives.
I pray that we continue to love and care for one another
and enjoy our family.
I pray that one day we can retire without having to live in bare survival mode
hand to mouth.
I pray that our life together be one of service and creativity to the end
that others will be warmed by the Christ light
that brought us together in the first place
and has kept us together for 44 years.