Sugars and Flours

It happens every time.
I'm rushed - have things to do
and no money in my purse.
Someone puts out a tray of sandwiches
and it's just so easy to pick up a couple and be done with lunch.
I think I'm a big girl now,
over my refined carbohydrate addiction
and able to handle such things.
After all, aren't we supposed to enjoy life?
Everyone else is doing it.
It's easy.
It's free.
There's an ambience to the experience -
I get to eat with people and be social
instead of going by myself to a restaurant
and carefully ordering the few things I can eat.

An hour later I start to feel bloated.
A little brain fog sets in.
Then the mucus starts flowing.
I feel lethargic.
I'm tired, exhausted tired and try to sleep.
It happens quickly
but then around 3 AM
I'm awake
for good.
still exhausted
still producing a ton of mucus
still bloated
and wondering how long it will be
before I finally learn the lesson.
Sugars and flours make me sick.

It doesn't do any good to beat myself up about it.
I know.
I've done that.
repeatedly.
Best to forgive myself and move on
and wait four days for the junk to exit my body.

O God,
I need you today
for all kinds of reasons.
I really cannot save myself.
I need some help.
Get me through this day.