Her face still haunts me
this woman whose face I remember from television nearly ten years ago.
She stood near Ground Zero, New York
before we called it that.
She held a sign
hand lettered, primitive, on poster board
with his name and a picture of her husband's face.
He was lost in the rubble.
We could all witness her anguish
as we munched on popcorn
from the comfort of our living rooms.
We saw the searching eyes
the longing
the heartache
the terror that had begun to leave its footprints on her soul.
It was the beginning of a shattered world for her
and we sat as silent witnesses to the loss of her beloved.
When I see and remember her face now
the brokenness waiting to be born
I think she is a portrait of God -
longing for His lost children
longing for the restoration of relationship
longing for the broken places to be healed and restored
longing for reconciliation and love
and unwilling to face the horror of a lifetime without us.
I see the good Shepherd doing whatever it takes
to find His lost sheep
and bring it safely home.
The way that anguished woman longed for her husband
and did everything she could to find him
is the same way that God longs for each of us
and will not stop
until we are safely home.
May God's great, huge heart
comfort all of those who still grieve losses from that day
and give us courage to live for peace.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
10 Things I Know about Beauty (Max prompt)
1. It's really, really hard to maintain physical beauty when you get old and your feet hurt. You look haggard and you feel cranky.
2. Then there's the beauty of the home - also hard to maintain with paper clutter piles and chipped paint on the walls and the leavings from too many exhausted days all strewn together.
3. Take nature. Maybe there's a rustic beauty when weeds have overtaken the land to the point that you cannot walk through the bramble, but it takes a fairly primitive sort to appreciate that.
4. Carefully tended outdoor beauty is actually rather nice - freshly mowed grass, weeded gardens, ponds with trickling water to induce a more relaxed and meditative state.
5. A lot of exterior beauty is hard to maintain - bodies, homes, yards - but so is inner beauty. People aren't just born beautiful in the inside. They have to work at it.
6. The best way to develop inner beauty is first to witness it. You have to see someone who is beautiful on the inside, someone who glows a little, who smiles and shows kindness. That kind of beauty beckons and causes desire to grow within.
7. We can ask for beauty - ask God to grow within us and and help form us that way. But then we have to be ready to act on the guidance we receive that is sometimes painful - like forgiving mean and nasty people who wreck havoc in our lives. Only then do we become beautiful.
8. We must be vigilant in caring for and loving beauty or it quickly slips away.
9. Beauty is the clearest sign we have of God's presence on earth - other than kindness. But kindness is beauty.
10. Grace, love, peace, harmony, goodness, gentleness - all the noble virtues are beautiful.
2. Then there's the beauty of the home - also hard to maintain with paper clutter piles and chipped paint on the walls and the leavings from too many exhausted days all strewn together.
3. Take nature. Maybe there's a rustic beauty when weeds have overtaken the land to the point that you cannot walk through the bramble, but it takes a fairly primitive sort to appreciate that.
4. Carefully tended outdoor beauty is actually rather nice - freshly mowed grass, weeded gardens, ponds with trickling water to induce a more relaxed and meditative state.
5. A lot of exterior beauty is hard to maintain - bodies, homes, yards - but so is inner beauty. People aren't just born beautiful in the inside. They have to work at it.
6. The best way to develop inner beauty is first to witness it. You have to see someone who is beautiful on the inside, someone who glows a little, who smiles and shows kindness. That kind of beauty beckons and causes desire to grow within.
7. We can ask for beauty - ask God to grow within us and and help form us that way. But then we have to be ready to act on the guidance we receive that is sometimes painful - like forgiving mean and nasty people who wreck havoc in our lives. Only then do we become beautiful.
8. We must be vigilant in caring for and loving beauty or it quickly slips away.
9. Beauty is the clearest sign we have of God's presence on earth - other than kindness. But kindness is beauty.
10. Grace, love, peace, harmony, goodness, gentleness - all the noble virtues are beautiful.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Awakening
It happened ever so gently.
I closed my eyes in prayer.
The tall bearded monk prayed,
"Fill us with your Holy Spirit."
When I opened my eyes again
I entered a different world.
Nothing has been the same ever since.
Obsessed
Driven
Captured by the love of God
I stuff the gnawing hunger.
God says to me,
"Let it out!"
But how?
My eternal dilemma
I closed my eyes in prayer.
The tall bearded monk prayed,
"Fill us with your Holy Spirit."
When I opened my eyes again
I entered a different world.
Nothing has been the same ever since.
Obsessed
Driven
Captured by the love of God
I stuff the gnawing hunger.
God says to me,
"Let it out!"
But how?
My eternal dilemma
Inspiration
I sat in the darkness
alone
and longing
for the presence of God
to come into the quiet.
God touched me gently
and whispered words I needed to hear.
The memory lingers
as I begin this day
waiting
for His touch once again.
Inspiration is an elusive thing.
It enters swiftly
silently
unannounced
then leaves again.
I've learned to keep a notebook handy
to capture those gentle moments of bliss
when I am my beloved's
and He is mine.
alone
and longing
for the presence of God
to come into the quiet.
God touched me gently
and whispered words I needed to hear.
The memory lingers
as I begin this day
waiting
for His touch once again.
Inspiration is an elusive thing.
It enters swiftly
silently
unannounced
then leaves again.
I've learned to keep a notebook handy
to capture those gentle moments of bliss
when I am my beloved's
and He is mine.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Surprising Grace
The pink polish chipped and looked gross.
So I took a long lunch break
and headed for Silver Nails.
A Vietnamese girl
with too many teeth in her friendly smile
began to work in earnest.
Ancient chants floated in the background
above the swirling bath waters.
The music touched my heart
carried me to a different place.
When was it that my heart had turned to stone?
Again?
How did this happen?
and why?
Walking in the Spirit is a gentle process
easily snuffed out
in this world of rigid concrete
and endless words.
But I am grateful for those moments of grace
that sweetly touch my heart
when I least expect it
and beckon me to a higher path.
So I took a long lunch break
and headed for Silver Nails.
A Vietnamese girl
with too many teeth in her friendly smile
began to work in earnest.
Ancient chants floated in the background
above the swirling bath waters.
The music touched my heart
carried me to a different place.
When was it that my heart had turned to stone?
Again?
How did this happen?
and why?
Walking in the Spirit is a gentle process
easily snuffed out
in this world of rigid concrete
and endless words.
But I am grateful for those moments of grace
that sweetly touch my heart
when I least expect it
and beckon me to a higher path.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Coming Home
Deep fried dill pickles on the menu
Corn breaded catfish with hushpuppies
Pickled okra on the buffet
Country music blaring in the knotty pine dining room
HOT outside
It's good to be back in Texas.
Corn breaded catfish with hushpuppies
Pickled okra on the buffet
Country music blaring in the knotty pine dining room
HOT outside
It's good to be back in Texas.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Milwaukee Metaphor
It takes a while to travel with children.
One endures stops and starts
snacks and potty breaks.
By the time we reached Milwaukee coming home from Minneapolis
it was midnight.
We narrowed ourselves to one lane of traffic
snaking our way through road construction.
Suddenly a police car swooped in behind us and stopped
cutting us off from Forrest
and everyone else who was behind us.
We inched our way toward Milwaukee for a while
then sped on
frantically looking for signs
none of which pointed the way to Chicago.
Somewhere around the Milwaukee port
we exited
with Sadie wailing in the back of the van.
no gas station
no restroom in sight
in this neighborhood of small frame houses
asleep until morning.
Sadie tee-teed on someone's front lawn,
then climbed in the car
and fell fast asleep.
We finally found the detour
and with great vigilance
followed the signs
until they led us safely through the maze
and ultimately to home.
Through all the twirling around that dark night
we kept talking to Forrest on the cell phone
until he too finally landed beside us in the garage.
Forrest says this particular adventure
is a metaphor for Emi's life right now.
She's in the throes of a divorce
seeking divine guidance
and signs pointing the way
through the chaos
as we did that balmy night in Milwaukee.
Her life has taken an unexpected detour.
She's in the driver's seat
caring for her crying children
with aging parents in tow.
i think it's a metaphor for me as well
in guiding my church
and preparing for my year as moderator of the Presbytery.
There will be roadblocks
and unexpected detours.
God provides the signs to guide us
and calls us to be vigilant and mindful.
God will also lead us safely home.
In the end,
it's all about faith,
trusting God
enduring the discomfort
and knowing
deeply
that all is well
and all will be well.
One endures stops and starts
snacks and potty breaks.
By the time we reached Milwaukee coming home from Minneapolis
it was midnight.
We narrowed ourselves to one lane of traffic
snaking our way through road construction.
Suddenly a police car swooped in behind us and stopped
cutting us off from Forrest
and everyone else who was behind us.
We inched our way toward Milwaukee for a while
then sped on
frantically looking for signs
none of which pointed the way to Chicago.
Somewhere around the Milwaukee port
we exited
with Sadie wailing in the back of the van.
no gas station
no restroom in sight
in this neighborhood of small frame houses
asleep until morning.
Sadie tee-teed on someone's front lawn,
then climbed in the car
and fell fast asleep.
We finally found the detour
and with great vigilance
followed the signs
until they led us safely through the maze
and ultimately to home.
Through all the twirling around that dark night
we kept talking to Forrest on the cell phone
until he too finally landed beside us in the garage.
Forrest says this particular adventure
is a metaphor for Emi's life right now.
She's in the throes of a divorce
seeking divine guidance
and signs pointing the way
through the chaos
as we did that balmy night in Milwaukee.
Her life has taken an unexpected detour.
She's in the driver's seat
caring for her crying children
with aging parents in tow.
i think it's a metaphor for me as well
in guiding my church
and preparing for my year as moderator of the Presbytery.
There will be roadblocks
and unexpected detours.
God provides the signs to guide us
and calls us to be vigilant and mindful.
God will also lead us safely home.
In the end,
it's all about faith,
trusting God
enduring the discomfort
and knowing
deeply
that all is well
and all will be well.
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